How to be a Happy Couple!

What is the secret to your relationship?

How are you guys so happy all the time?

Why can’t I find a spouse like yours?

What do you know that I don’t?

Weekend Get-Away for our Anniversary

My Dear Hubby and I are asked these questions quite often. We are no experts in marriage, but yeah we have a happy and amazing married life and we love it and our family.  We’ve been married 6½ years and we dated 2 years before that. We hold hands off and on, and we tell each other “I love you” often. We just appreciate being with each other. We talk together every day and enjoy spending quiet evenings together watching TV and laying in bed laughing about random things. We virtually never fight, though we disagree often, usually about bills, money or chores. And when we do fight we try our best not to do it in front of the kids. It is so important to us that our kids see our amazing love for each other and that they know that we have a happy home. Children are like sponges and soak up everything.  We want to set an example for them of how they should treat their spouse in the future…the far, far, far future. We try to spend as much time together as we can and do everything together as a family. We always make sure that the other one knows that we appreciate them and all they do.



Date Night on the Pirate Cruise

So back to those questions…want to know the answers?  Here goes my best shot at it! Some of these things should come as a sort of common sense and others I feel are essential for you to have a good relationship and marriage. But please keep in mind that these are my own personal tips.

 1.      First and foremost - Forget what you see in the movies, read in books or see on television. Real relationships aren’t anything like that - constant romancing, extravagant dinners, and continuously being swept of your feet. Real relationships take lots of work and dedication, they just don’t happen overnight.  Maud Purcell said it best, “A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.”

2.      COMMUNICATE – I cannot stress the extreme importance of communication in a relationship. Lack of communication tends to be the number one reason even a good relationship fails.  You should not assume that your spouse can read your mind or knows your exact feelings. Express yourself, whether it is positive or negative, do it!  And do it with words!  Don’t just sit down and huff and puff and expect your spouse to beg at your feet to find out what is wrong and make it all better. If you are not happy, let your spouse know and let him/her know why.  If your spouse does something that makes you happy, make sure you thank them for it…even if you told them do to it hours ago (or even days ago). My DH and I started something that I am sure many of you have seen on Pinterest, and I love it.  I call it the frame of love.  Whenever you feel like it you write a little message why you love your spouse and wait for them to notice.  It could be anything; you help get the kids ready in the morning, you watch my favorite show with me, you give me your burnt french fries.  (I love those!) Just a simple thank you goes a long way.

3.      Have a Sense of HUMOR – Laugh together and laugh often. You all know the saying laughter is the best medicine; well it does wonders for relationships! Laughter can create a connection that you would never imagine possible. Being able to laugh at your own mistakes helps too. Be stupid together, have fun, act like kids, and just enjoy life.  My DH and I laugh, a lot! We laugh for no reason. We laugh at our kids. We laugh at one another. We laugh at ourselves. We laugh when it is completely quiet and everyone is in bed and falling asleep. Okay maybe too much, but that is an amazing thing.  Having a sense of humor makes things so much better for us.  It helps us get through anything and it helps our children to be happier too.  It is important for your kids to be happy, because if they are happy, then so are you. So lighten up, make each other laugh and have a sense of humor.

4.      Respect and Appreciation – If you respect and appreciate your spouse, you will most likely get the same in return. Be supportive and let your spouse know that you are there for them for anything.  Let him/her know that you are a more than just a spouse, you are their best friend. After being together for some time, it is easy to take your spouse for granted…DON’T! You need to remember to appreciate EVERYTHING that your spouse does; changing diapers, brushing the kids hair in the morning, cleaning the litter box, taking out the trash, making you smile and laugh. "Through praising your partner, you give him the message that he's important to you," explains Tom Lee, Ph.D. "Plus, you'll find these comments have a ripple effect; they're contagious. If you're positive, he'll be positive in return." Treat your spouse with respect and find ways to constantly remind him/her how special and amazing s/he is to you. Tell each other “I Love You” often and when you do it…mean it.

5.      Do “IT” and often – "The happiest couples have sex on a regular basis," says Tina Tessina, Ph.D. That doesn’t mean you need to bump uglys every day or even every week, but do not get into a sex drought. Don’t freak out if two weeks go by and still no “boom-booms”.  This is where the communication comes into play.  Talk about it.  If you want it more frequently and he wants it less often, then communicate and find a happy medium. Having a happy sexual relationship brings you closer with your spouse.  Touching each other often helps too; hugs, kisses, butt pats as you walk by, an “accidental” rub in the “special” area, even a simple hand on the leg when you are sitting next to each other in the car.  Any kind of positive physical contact can have the simplest effect on your relationship. You may feel that you have no time for sex, but you do.  Say the kids are downstairs watching a movie and are content; go upstairs to the bed room closet.  Or you are exhausted at the end of the day, set your alarm 15 minutes early and start your day off with a bang!  There is always time for a little action.

6.      Have Date Nights – DH and I made a resolution this year to have date night once a month. Let me tell you how much fun we have had and enjoyed our “alone time”. Don’t get me wrong, I love our kids, but a little qt with the hubby is always needed. Spending quality time together, no matter how busy you are, is so important. When I say quality time, that doesn’t mean you on the couch and him in his barker lounger watching the ten o’clock news.  I mean spending some real quality time together, alone. Get a baby sitter or friend or family member to watch the kids and/or the pets and make time for just the two of you.  Even make a deal with whoever watches the kids, you watch their kids this weekend and they watch yours next weekend. Wondering what to do on this date night?  Want to get out of the old rut of dinner and a movie? Visit The Dating Divas website. These ladies are amazing and have the most incredible ideas for all sorts of dates ranging from adventurous ones to movie nights at home. And if you can’t get a sitter they even 15 minute dates…so no excuses!   

There you have it, 6 simple things that I feel are beneficial to an amazing relationship and marriage. I have several other date ideas and things that I have found that you can do to strengthen your relationship and marriage here. There is no secret to our “perfect” marriage; we work at it every day. We try our best to let the other one know how much we love them and truly appreciate everything they do. I know that some of you may be thinking, I don’t have time for all of this, but you do!  We both work all day, come home and cook dinner, clean dishes, do the never-ending laundry, spend time with our kids, bathe them and read bed time stories, figure out bills, take the kids to sports and activities, and even feed the pets.  Our lives are as hectic as most everyone else’s lives, maybe even a little more, but we have an amazing and happy marriage. It just takes a minute or two a day to let your spouse know you love them, so start by doing just that.  A happy marriage means a happy family.  Just remember, that a marriage will not be perfect overnight, it takes a lot of work, and it deserves your attention.  “Every relationship has its problems but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything sucks.”

Happy Birthday Hunter!

 

So this past week we celebrated a birthday in the True household.  Our little baby boy is now a little man.  He has entered the big boy world of 5-year-olds.  I cannot believe how fast time has gone.  One minute we are cleaning up his spit up and the next thing I know we are buying his school supplies! (That will be for a later post) His birthday was in the middle of the week, so we thought it only fair that he was able to open presents on his actual birthday.  The morning of his birthday he woke up  we woke him up to a room full of balloons. 

I think that was his favorite part of the day, because when we picked him up from preschool, all the teachers were asking us about it.  Also, everyone that called that night to wish him a happy day was told about "all the balloons in my room!".  We let him open one present before school, which was from his baby sister.  He takes out the tissues and says..."Oh Shoot!  Are you serious!" 

This kids says the darndest things!  It was a few cars with super heroes on them. 

That night we had Mac and Cheese and hot dogs, as requested by the birthday boy.  Then he got the one thing he has been asking for for almost a year....a DS!  We had a great night...a late night, but a great night.

Then this weekend he had his first friend birthday party.  Let me tell you how nervous I was!  I wanted it to be so perfect and be "the cool mom".  I almost had a panic attack.  He finally decided that he wanted to have a super hero party. I made capes, banners, masks, goodie bags, and the cake! 

I was so nervous about the cake, but had a backup plan if I could not make it the way I wanted.  Thanks to my sis the web ended up looking amazing and so did everything else!  The kids loved the capes and masks.  Word of advice to those that are wanting to do the same thing...Do not use sharpie marker for the masks!  The poor kids all had black marks all over their faces! 

I had coloring pages for the kids to color when they first got there. 

Then we had a obstacle course to run. 

The kids did this several times.

Then they had to get the "kryptonite" from the cave! 

Then they had to ward of the villains with "webs". 

And last but not least, they had to diffuse the bombs before the party blew up!

All in all the party was a huge success. I am the only one that knows what we didn't do and what went wrong, but who cares.  We didn't need to have buildings for the kids to climb, or people sitting outside at the decorated tables, or the juice boxes that are still in the cooler in the garage, or play bowling, or have super cool food tags.  As long as my little man enjoyed his party, that is all that matters!  We asked him later that night what his favorite party of his birthday party was. Know what he said????  His cake!  Boy oh Boy, let me tell you how proud that makes Momma!  We are so proud of our little man. We love you with all our hearts and you are such an amazing son.  Happy Birthday Hunter!

Welcome to Our True Paradise

So I have had several people over the past few years tell me that I should have my own reality show.  I always laugh and change the subject.  I finally decided that I would start with a blog and everyone can live vicariously through me that way.  So who am I?  Who are we? Well....Me.  I am a 30-year-old wife and mother of two amazing children.  An almost 5-year-old handsome and crazy boy and an almost 9-month-old beautiful and honorary baby girl. My husband and I have been together for 8 years, married for 6 years.  He is my rock, my salvation, my one and only.  I would not be here today if it were not for his amazing self.  He works in the trucking world (no not a driver) and I work in the email world (yes, I am the one who sends you all the lovely spam).  Our son is very much into sports right now and our daughter...well she is a teething, growing, handful of love. We have had our many rides on the crazy roller coaster of life.  Several highs, several lows, and plenty of time to catch our breath. I can only imagine the many adventures that we have to look forward to as we continue to live in our "True" Paradise.  I hope that you will enjoy this journey that you are about to take with us.